Getting on with People

Many people are self obsessed individuals who are only concerned with their own self importance, looks and what others can do for them. They judge others by their appearance, what they do for a living, where they live and if someone does not match up to their expectations they dismiss them out of hand because they are not worthy enough to get to know. It sometimes takes a tragedy for these individuals to have to interact with others to whom they would not normally give the time of day. If only they could realise how much they are missing out on life’s enjoyment by not interesting themselves in other people and finding out what makes them tick. It seems they either don’t care or maybe they don’t realise how offensive they are behaving. We all have a duty to our fellow man to be generous of spirit and try to get on with everyone.

There are things we can all do to try to get along with people and maybe feel happier in ourselves during the process:

Watch what you say – bite your tongue!

How you say something and the tone of your voice can often offend more than the content of what you actually said. If you find yourself in a stressful situation socially or at work just try curbing your tongue and being diplomatic rather than saying what you think. Apart from anything how you handle yourself in a crisis will impress others and make you seem more approachable.

Take an interest in others

Find out about other people’s interests. Gain their confidence by demonstrating a caring attitude. When people are happy be happy for them, when they’re troubled be sympathetic. Treat everyone with importance.

Keep an open mind

Don’t get into arguments; be calm and reasonable and discuss the situation. You will feel a lot better in yourself and get on better with others if you can disagree without being disagreeable.

Don’t hurt other people’s feelings

Don’t make jokes at other people’s expense. Think of other people’s feelings and try to understand the hurt and pain you could be causing the object of your ‘humour’. Don’t fall into the ‘old comedian’s trick’ of putting others down to raise up your own self importance.

Be kind and encourage

Make use of every opportunity to praise people, whoever they are, if you feel they deserve it. Encourage others and just remember how much pleasure you can give with a compliment. If you have to be critical then do so kindly and helpfully. Remember what you put out will always come back at you.

Don’t make false promises

Only make a promise if you intend to keep it. If you break a promise you lose other people’s respect and their trust.

Be cheerful

We all have our troubles so don’t make yourself feel better by burdening others with your problems. ‘Misery loves company’ but you will do yourself and others a disservice if you offload onto others. If you can keep a cheerful appearance around others people will want to be with you, they will comfortable in your presence and you’ll probably cheer up as well. The most important thing anyone can ever wear is a smile.

Don’t gossip

Don’t gossip and tear other people down to try to prop yourself up; try your best not to listen to gossip. If you fall into this trap you may start getting neurotic about what other people may be saying about you behind your back.

Be a friend

To have a friend, you must be a friend and if you want lots of friends you need to be a thoughtful friend. This means remembering birthdays, staying regularly in contact by email, phone, letters or get-togethers and sending thank you messages for any favours received.

Keep a sense of humour

A sense of humour is essential. Everyone likes to laugh and it helps break down barriers and relaxes people. The ability to laugh and generate laughter in others is possibly one of the greatest attributes anyone could ever hope to acquire.

If you can master even a few of these tips each week you’ll open up a whole new world of enjoyment for yourself and people will want to be in your company.