My friend’s husband wants an affair with me!

Dear Hillie

Just recently a male friend of mine (he’s been married for 3 years and they have an 8 month old child) asked me straight out if I would consider having an affair with him. For years I have been reassuring his wife that he doesn’t cheat on her and doesn’t seem to be the sort who would. Rumours circulated before they were married that he had been having affairs but they were never proven and I believed him when he said that he hadn’t. Unfortunately they lost a lot of friends due to all their problems. Since he propositioned me I can’t get him out of my mind and I keep thinking about what it would be like. I don’t think I would because I don’t want to be responsible for splitting up a family and I value my friendship with his wife too much. The problem is that I socialise with them a lot and every time I go round to see them he becomes very suggestive. As soon as she leaves the room he keeps trying to get me to kiss him. Also his wife often goes to bed early leaving us talking downstairs together and he has already tried to get off with me on one of these occasions. I’m just worried that one night we might go further than just talking. I don’t want to stop going round there as I don’t see why I should lose one of my best friends, but I’m concerned that if he carries on in this way something might happen between us. Please advise.

Hillie says:

This man’s behaviour is despicable and you mustn’t waste any more time thinking about him. His wife needs a loyal friend and you must do your best to help and support her. Tell him that you have no intention of being disloyal to her wife and that if he doesn’t stop propositioning you, you will tell her exactly what has been going on. Make sure you are never alone with him again and try to socialise with his wife at times when he is not around. There are plenty of attractive single men in this world for you to associate with. Leave the married men, with all the heart-ache they could entail, to their wives and families