Is my ex over his ex!

Dear Hillie:

Recently an ex of mine got back in touch and is asking if we can start again but I am wondering if it can ever really work with an ex or whether you should both move on. A bit about us …… we were together for a year and madly in love but split up as we bickered quite a lot; both needed to sort out our own issues. Ten months later he is back but during this time I was dating someone else and so was he. When he got in touch I had recently split with my partner but I was ok about it all as I knew he wasn’t the one for me; it would never have worked hence me ending it. My ex had split with his partner just over two months before but I don’t think he is over it.  He says he is but there are reasons for me thinking differently and to make it worse they work together. I guess what I am asking is how do I know if he is really over the last relationship or should I go with my instinct? Can a relationship with an ex ever work second time round?

Hillie says:

I think you should always go with your instincts as they will invariably be right. In my experience going back to a relationship rarely works out because eventually the underlying reasons why you originally broke up will surface again unless you have both completely changed. In my opinion this would be the wrong time for either of you to start a new relationship as you are both on the rebound. Maybe keep in touch occasionally as friends and concentrate on being on your own for a while, re-assessing what you really want in life and what you would like in a partner.