Boyfriends make me queasy!

Dear Hillie

I’ve had a few boyfriends, nothing serious, but there’s a reason for this. Whenever I’m in a relationship I’m fine until I actually start thinking about the fact that I’m with someone, or if I start talking about feelings with my boyfriend of the time. When that happens, I suddenly feel really queasy. At first it used to go away if I went off on my own for a bit, but a couple of boyfriends ago it started getting worse. I started feeling queasy and would have to go off to the toilet and throw up. I can only go out with someone for about a month before I decide I can’t take it any more and make up an excuse to break up. I know none of this can be good for my health and it’s really getting me down feeling that I can’t get close to anyone. Every time I go out with someone I hope it’s going to be different but it never is. None of my friends seem to have this trouble and I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone about it. Can you help?

Hillie says:

You appear to be terrified of commitment and when you sense that a relationship could become more permanent and perhaps restrict your liberty, you throw up. Maybe this is just the wrong time in your life to have boyfriends. Try to be on your own for a while and enjoy your freedom. Start enjoying a full, interesting and fun time by yourself and with friends. Develop new hobbies and interests; concentrate more on your work and building a successful career. When you really feel ready for a relationship and the ideal man for you walks into your life, you’ll be so happy enjoying each other’s company you won’t have time to throw up.